Before mediation · Tuesday’s session
You have the financial spreadsheet. Rehearse what happens when your ex says “you never contributed to this house” across from the mediator.
The prep packet is printed. You still don’t know what you’ll say when they go personal.
You chose mediation to avoid a $50k court fight. Your lawyer sent a checklist. You bookmarked a HelloDivorce thread and read the BIFF method twice. What you can’t picture is your ex pivoting from the asset split to “you always put work first” — and you either snapping back or going quiet while the mediator watches. Kommi puts you at that table first, with an ex who escalates the way real ones do, so Tuesday isn’t your first take.
The checklist isn’t the hard part.
Every mediation guide says the same thing: bring documents, know your priorities, use I-statements. You have the folder. What you don’t have is muscle memory for when your ex rewrites who paid what and the mediator asks what you’d accept — and you have ten seconds to answer without sounding bitter or folding.
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What’s at stake
One reactive sentence can shift the mediator’s read of who’s reasonable. Concede too fast on the house split or custody schedule and you’re living with it for years — or back in litigation at $300/hr.
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Why you freeze
You know the BIFF script. You’ve rehearsed in the shower. You skip the part where they mention the kids, your voice shakes, and you either over-explain or say “fine, whatever” to end the room’s tension.
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What scripts can’t do
Sample scripts from mediation blogs give you opening lines. They can’t simulate your ex threatening court mid-session while the neutral third party is taking notes.
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What a coach costs
A divorce coach runs $200–400 per session. Your lawyer bills for strategy, not a Tuesday-night rehearsal of your ex’s guilt tactics. You need two reps tonight — not another PDF.
Sample roleplay · 3 minutes
“I put more into this house than you ever did.”
You’re Jordan. Session two. The mediator just asked what split of the home equity you’d accept. Your ex jumps in before you finish.
Ex-spouse
“Before we talk numbers — I put more into this house than you ever did. I handled every contractor. You were always at work. If we’re being fair, I should keep more of the equity. And if you push this, I’ll take it to court.”
You (Jordan)
“I want to focus on what we can agree on today. Based on the appraisal and our mortgage payoff, I’m proposing we split equity 55/45 after closing costs. I’m not here to rehash who did more — I’m here to find a number we can both sign.”
Mediator
“Jordan, I hear a specific proposal. Alex, can you respond to the 55/45 split, or tell us what would make a split workable for you?”
Your move
- → Hold the frame: “I’m open to hearing a counter — what split works for you?”
- → Request a break: “I need five minutes before we continue on equity.”
- → Redirect to interests: “What outcome lets you move forward without court?”
Each choice changes how your ex and the mediator respond. The pressure is real — personal attacks, court threats, the kids invoked off-topic. You practice staying brief, factual, and forward-looking without sounding cold or conceding from guilt.
Then the coach reads you back to yourself.
Not a mediation checklist. Not a list of BIFF reminders you already read. One observation about what you did when ex went personal, one adjustment for next time, one sentence you can carry into Tuesday’s session.
Sample coach debrief
“You opened with a clear 55/45 proposal — good. When your ex said ‘you were always at work,’ you spent four sentences defending your career and mentioned their mother. That pulled the mediator into a blame loop.
Try next time: Acknowledge without debating history: ‘I hear you feel you contributed more. I’m proposing 55/45 based on the appraisal — what counter would work for you?’
Carry into Tuesday: ‘I’m here to settle equity today, not rehash the marriage. Here’s my proposal — what would you need to sign?’”
Questions before mediation
- Is this different from co-parenting pickup conversations?
- Yes. A pickup boundary talk is informal and recurring. Mediation is a structured session with a neutral third party, financial stakes, and a record that can follow you into court if it fails. Different pressure, different scripts.
- I already have a lawyer and a prep packet. Why practice?
- Your lawyer preps your legal position. They can’t simulate your ex going personal at 10:47am while the mediator is watching both of you. Kommi is where you hear yourself get defensive — and fix it before Tuesday.
- Will practicing make me sound robotic at the table?
- The coach flags tone, not just words — when you sound collaborative vs. bitter, when you’re redirecting vs. litigating the marriage again, when you’re conceding from guilt. The goal is one calm, brief response under pressure.
- What if my ex is genuinely hostile or unsafe?
- Kommi helps you practice the conversation you still have to navigate in mediation — or document why mediation isn’t working. If there’s intimidation or abuse, talk to your lawyer about caucus sessions or terminating mediation. This isn’t a substitute for legal advice.
$11.99 a month.
A coach with a calendar runs two hundred dollars an hour. Kommi runs roughly forty cents a day — and is awake when you can't sleep, which is when most of these conversations are actually being rehearsed anyway.
We don't have a free tier, a team plan, or a premium upsell. One price, no pricing page riddle. If we add tiers later, we'll do it because users asked — not because a growth deck did.
About forty cents a day.
- Two free sessions before billing starts
- Then $11.99 a month — about forty cents a day
- Unlimited sessions — any conversation you can describe
- A coaching read after every session, and your progress over time
- Cancel in two taps; 7-day refund if you change your mind
One conversation you’d have talked yourself out of is worth years of this. Or just sleep better on Wednesday. Either way.
Run your first rehearsal — free →US only at launch. We'll get to the rest of the world.
The conversation is on Thursday. Begin tonight.
Three minutes. Two free. 7-day money back after that.